Dating Anxiety And Shyness Uncovered

All of us date for different reasons. Sometimes theses reasons are unknown to our conscious mind. With application of thought and reflection, we can find out what we want from our dating partner and once we know what we want we can begin breaking down the walls of shyness.

Reasons come first to stop dating anxiety

Some of the reasons for why you want to date could be:

Every one is dating – I want to date and have a partner because everyone else is doing it.

Physical needs – I need a partner primary for my physical needs. I need a biological partner.

Companion and friend– I want a friend who will be with me through pain and pleasures of my life.

Fulfillment– I feel unfulfilled and I want to feel fulfilled. I am not able to define this vacuum but I think that a partner will do it.

Support – Someone who will support me through life and whom I will support like wise.

I want love – I need love and pampering. I never got it in my childhood. I need it badly. I want someone who will treat me gently and give me love.

Once you know precisely what you want from your dating partner your choices becomes narrowed down, which will lead to better results in the end. Knowing about our requirements always helps in in satisfying our needs.

Breaking down the walls

Many of us are shy when talking to the opposite sex. That takes us no where. Something happens that stops us from becoming that social butterfly we deep down want to be. Why do we get scared? We’re not scared of talking to people of our own sex, we are confident about ourselves in those situations for the most part and we have enough self-esteem. Then why? It is as if there is a switch in the mind that is switched off and says no when it comes to talking with people of the opposite sex.

What can be done about this? This problem has to do with our mind. Our mind tells us that we are not worthy. We may be rejected. We may be laughed at. Our mind warns us to defend ourselves from this and says no – you are not to approach anyone from the opposite sex. This is the mechanism of mind. Fight or flight. In this case, we resort to flight. But with this running away, we will never get that desirable person into our lives. We will always remain alone and only wistfully watch other couples going around. So what should we do?

The very first step in such cases is to evaluate our self and compare ourselves with our friends. Are we as smart as they are? Are we as intelligent as they are? Are we as confident as they are? Are we as presentable as they are? Is our personality equally good? On most of these issues you may find that you are scoring more points than your friends. So one thing is established. You are a desirable person. If your friends are not shy, why are you? Gather the strength and approach people of the opposite sex with confidence. Don’t worry about rejections. There can be many reasons for that. Approach smartly and you will surely see that there was nothing to fear in the first place when talking with the opposite sex.

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How Will You Know When You’ve Overcome Your Anxiety Disorder Completely?

Here is how you will know when you’ve recovered from your anxiety disorder:

• When your body has had enough rest and nourishment that your energy is back and chronic fatigue is not an issue anymore.

• When your fearful thoughts (which may continue to creep in) don’t send you into the anxious cycle, and you can brush them off knowing that your past has given you enough information that the thing you fear most will not come true. This is just another false alarm.

• When you stop giving attention to those false alarms, then the many faces of anxiety will recede.

• When you begin to stop just THINKING positive, thinking that this alone will turn things around. Action is the main element that will turn your anxiety disorder around, in my struggles I was the most anxious positive person ever, but I kept telling myself lies such as things are getting better, things are getting better… THINGS ARE NOT GETTING BETTER, telling yourself the truth that things are not OK and this is not all there is to life, will get you to take massive action and celebrate the smallest victories.

• When you start taking responsibility for your anxiety disorder. Certain factors such as your childhood environment may actually be a reason for your anxiety disorder that you are experiencing right now, but in the end when you begin to take responsibility for your issues you instantly stop playing the blame game and stop being the victim. Once you take the power back into your own hands, you will begin to recognize that you ALWAYS have a choice in the matter, it just takes time to recondition yourself until desensitization begins.

• When your thoughts, emotions and physical body are in sync. It may seem that at the moment your thoughts are running out of control, you’re emotionally unstable and you may feel completely fatigued or scared to partake in a daily exercise routine because of fear due to your heart. Once these three things are aligned and the daily struggle to have clear thoughts, to try so hard to be upbeat and the fear of exercising is gone, days feel enjoyable and easy for you again. No more fight or flight out of the blue and no more sweating the small stuff.

At the end of your life, I want you to be able to look back and marvel at the way you handled your anxiety disorder. I don’t want you to look back and think ‘what if’? This path you are heading down may be unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but it is the path that you must take. Take it now, take your life back, and begin giving others permission to face their own fears through your actions. They will realize through your success that they have a choice that will lead them on the path to recovery from their anxiety disorder also.

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Anxiety Disorder Facts, Figures, And Most Treatment Options That Probably Won’t Work For You

Give Me The Facts!

There are several subgroups of Anxiety Disorders, with different causes and treatment. Anxiety disorders are a serious social and financial concern to American business, since they cost the country more than $42 billion a year in healthcare costs and lost productivity, according to “The Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders,” a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.

Numbers

More than $22.84 billion is spent on healthcare services, as those with anxiety disorders seek relief for emotional distress and physical symptoms. Sufferers are 300 to 500 percent more likely to go to the doctor and 600 percent more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than non-sufferers. Anxiety disorders are the most common psychiatric illness and affect both children and adults. They develop from an interaction of numerous risk factors, including personality, genetics, brain chemistry, and life stress. Approximately 19 million adult Americans suffer from anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only about one-third of those suffering from anxiety disorders receive treatment, (maybe because the first line of treatment isn’t working?).

What Is GAD?

The main feature of Generalized Anxiety Disorder is excessive, unrealistic and uncontrollable worry about everyday events. This constant worry affects daily functioning and brings physical symptoms. GAD can occur with other anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, or substance abuse. It can be misdiagnosed because it lacks some of the dramatic symptoms, such as unprovoked attacks of panic, that are seen with other anxiety disorders. For a diagnosis to be made, uncontrollable worrying occur more days than not for at least 6 months.

The focus of GAD is fluid, shifting unpredictably from job issues, finances, health of both self and family, and smaller issues such as chores, car repairs and being late for appointments. The intensity, duration and frequency of the worry are disproportionate to the issue and interferes with the sufferer’s daily life. Physical symptoms can include muscle tension, sweating, gastrointestinal symptoms such as diarrhea and/or nausea, cold and clammy palms, the feeling of having a “lump in the throat” (my own personal concern for years) and difficulty swallowing. Sufferers are irritable and complain about feeling on edge, tire easily tired and have trouble sleeping.

Full Blown Panic On The Horizon

People with Panic Disorder suffer severe acute attacks of panic for no apparant reason, which may mimic the symptoms of a heart attack or cause them to feel they are losing their minds. Symptoms include heart palpitations, chest pain or discomfort, sweating, trembling, tingling sensations, feeling of choking, fear of dying, fear of losing control, and feelings of unreality. Panic disorder is often accompanied by agoraphobia, in which people are afraid of having a panic attack in a public place, so they become afraid to leave the safety of their controlled home environment. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder can follow a traumatic event such as a sexual or physical assault, witnessing a death, the unexpected death of a loved one, or natural disaster. There are three main symptoms associated with PTSD: “reliving” of the traumatic event (such as flashbacks and nightmares); avoidance behaviors (such as avoiding places and other reminders related to the trauma) and emotional numbing (detachment from others); and physiological arousal such difficulty sleeping, irritability or poor concentration.

Social Anxiety And Phobias

Social Anxiety Disorder is characterized by severe anxiety about being judged by others or behaving in a way that might bring ridicule or embarrassment. This intense anxiety may lead to extreme shyness and avoidance of social situations. Physical symptoms associated with this disorder include faintness, heart palpitations, blushing and profuse sweating.

Anxiety disorders also include Specific Phobias, an intense and unreasonable fear of specific objects or situations, such as spiders, dogs, or heights. The disproportionate level of fear is recognized by the sufferer as being irrational. It can lead to the avoidance of common, everyday situations. Patients often have more than one anxiety disorder, and sometimes other illness as well such as depression or substance abuse.

Treatment For Anxiety Disorders

Todays treatment for anxiety disorders includes support groups, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, anxiety management and relaxation techniques, and psychotherapy. Drugs therapy used to treat anxiety disorders includes benzodiazepines, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), tricyclic antidepressants, monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) and beta-blockers. In my opinion and from the numbers I’ve passed along to you about Anxiety, drugs don’t heal anxiety disorders…people do.

A combination of emotional support through someone who’s dared to step out into the unknown world filled with the fears that keep them contained + CBT + a deep desire and belief that change is possible from the sufferer = Turning Your Anxiety Switch Off.

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Could You Be Physically And Mentally Burned Out? Take The Test To Find Out

In today’s world of downsizing and job insecurity, burnout is scary. Luckily, experts agree that you can bust out of burnout and get back to business by taking control of your situation.

Getting Overwork Under Control

You’re working so hard that you can barely remember your own name. Slowing down will help you re-order your priorities in your life and on the job so you can better beat the burnout. How do you know if you’ve crossed the line from stress to burnout? Experts say that it occurs when hope and energy fade, when you believe that your job is meaningless and that nothing can happen to change that.

Burnout Warning

Here are common signals that burnout is becoming a problem:

Negative emotions – It’s normal to feel angry, depressed, dissatisfied or anxious occasionally. But if you’re caught in the burnout cycle, you’ll feel these emotions more often, until they become chronic and you experience emotional fatigue.

Interpersonal problems – When you feel emotionally drained, it’s harder to deal with others. When conflicts arise, you may overreact with an emotional outburst or intense hostility. This makes communicating with co-workers, friends and family increasingly difficult.

Health problems – As your emotional reserves become depleted and the quality of your relationships deteriorates, your physical resilience fades. You may experience frequent colds, headaches, insomnia, backaches and other minor ailments. In general, you feel tired and run down.

Below-par performance – You may become bored with your job or lose enthusiasm for your projects. Or you may find it difficult to concentrate. You become less productive and the quality of your work declines.

Substance abuse – To cope with the stress of burnout, you may start to drink or use drugs, eat a lot more or less, drink more coffee or smoke cigarettes. Substance abuse further compounds your problems.

Feelings of meaninglessness – You find yourself asking, “So what?” and “Why bother?” This is particularly common among burnout victims who were once very enthusiastic and dedicated. Your former idealism and enthusiasm is replaced by cynicism, and work seems pointless.

Am I Burning Out?

Read each of the following statements and rate how often it is true for you on a scale of 1 (rarely true) through 5 (usually true). Then add up your score:

1) I feel tired even when I’ve had adequate sleep.

2) I am dissatisfied with my work.

3) I feel sad for no apparent reason.

4) I am forgetful.

5) I am irritable and snap at people.

6) I avoid people at work and in my private life.

7) I have trouble sleeping because I worry about work.

8) I get sick more than I used to.

9) My attitude about work is “why bother?”

10) I often get into conflicts.

11) My job performance is not up to par.

12) I use alcohol and drugs to feel better.

13) Communicating with others is a strain.

14) I can’t concentrate on my work as well as I used to.

15) I am easily bored with my work.

16) I don’t like going to work.

17) I feel frustrated with my work.

18) I work hard but accomplish little.

19) Social activities are draining.

20) Sex is not worth the effort.

21) I watch TV most of the time when I’m not working.

22) I don’t have much to look forward to in my work.

23) I worry about work during my off hours.

24) Feelings about work interfere with my personal life.

25) My work seems pointless.

Scoring:

 25-50: You’re doing well.  51-75: You’re okay if you take preventative action.  76-100: You’re a candidate for burnout.  101-125: You’re burning out.

Let a Smile be Your Umbrella

We know that it sounds trite. But it really is true. If you look at the bright side, chances are that life will start looking up.   Accentuate the positive

Is the glass entirely empty or at least half-full? When work is going badly, we make it even worse by stressing everything that’s rotten and forgetting anything that’s good.

Get a Life

Work is important. You may spend more time there than at home. But work isn’t everything.

Energize your outside life

Is work the only thing that matters to you? How about family, children, hobbies, or volunteer work? Once you figure out what’s important to you, put more energy into the areas that you’ve neglected.

Turn off the TV

Research has shown that hobbies and other activities energize you and make you feel rejuvenated, while sitting in front of the TV makes you feel tired and depressed. Activities can be anything that makes you happy. From stamp collecting too karate to playing with your kids or dog.

Do something wild

You’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping or hike the back paths of the Grand Canyon, but one thing or another kept you from carrying through. Do it now. You’ll forget about hating your job while you’re focused on a new and exciting activity.

Now that you know whether you are burned out or not you can take appropriate action starting now…

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How To Stop Anxiety… Step 5

Taking Action

Remember this inspirational quote because it has turned my life around and will turn yours around as well, “knowing is not enough, we must apply, willing is not enough we must do.”

Taking action makes the result that we want which is overcoming the anxiety disorder possible, life can and will be the way you want it to again and better but as you already may know no one has achieved any goal that they’ve set out in life without taking action and applying their knowledge. These steps are arming you with tools that if practiced perfectly, with persistence and patience will in time bring your concerns and anxiety levels to a level that it was at one point in your life. Seeing even the smallest achievements from the action that you put in, builds your confidence which is key against panic and anxiety, lifts your spirits, and begins to bring you much needed peace in your life (something I didn’t experience for 6 years while battling generalized anxiety disorder). It also does something that you never thought it would do, it inspires others which makes you an inspiration to anyone that knows what you’re currently going through. Taking action takes a leap out of what your comfort zone is though, so be prepared. It’s very easy to not see results over anxiety in the first few days or weeks and quickly get discouraged and fall back into your comfortable fearing mindset, as well as continue certain lifestyle habits that aren’t contributing to your recovery from generalized anxiety. So be prepared to become comfortable being uncomfortable for the time being.

Dennis The Menace Who Plays Tennis

People used to ask me the same question everyday during my professional tennis playing days: “Dennis, how did you get so good at tennis,” simply because I took action every single day to improve every aspect of my tennis game. Sometimes my technique needed tweaking or tactically I needed some more practice or even extra fitness. But no matter what the weakness I came across was it was always met with a certain emotion behind it knowing that I needed something to change for the better, and knew that the change would come if I had a set plan and took action until that changed happened.

Back To The Future

I was searching around the anxiety groups online that I used to use to ask questions on, and not to my surprise I came across three posts (back to back) of people who were suffering at the same time I was! Their posts were:

“Does anxiety make you lay down all day long? Im not saying I do but dang my energy is gone.”

“Here I am thinking i’m gonna go a whole day without palpitations and boom… nope.”

“suffering from GAD, what to do?”

The Difference?

So what’s the difference between my inspirational recovery from chronic anxiety and panic, and these people who are still suffering to this day? Simply put, a decision. A decision not to take my anxiety with me through my life anymore, and apply the steps i’m outlining in what you’re reading here and just to review again those steps again are:

1) Finding the fuel needed to keep change going
2) Complete acceptance that what you’re going through is solely related to gad
3) Becoming knowledgable and building confidence from knowing how gad works
4) Building on the facts that you are still here and panic attacks have never took anyones life before
5) Taking daily action to create the change you desire

See you in step 6… The Anxious Athlete.

The Anxious Mind Uncovered will reveal the lies that many anxiety sufferers believe that may be keeping the cycle of panic and anxiety going. Pick up your free copy of The Anxious Mind Uncovered at www.anxietyend.com today.